Logan, from the internet.

Spoken Word

Gravity

Music

Untitled

Letters

Untitled

Short Stories

Untitled

Misc

Amazon Wishlist

Return all of your recent packages to Amazon, but fill the cardboard boxes with feces and glitter.
Cancel your Amazon Account.
Get on your with drab, wretched life.

A list of suspected celebrity vampires

🧛🏻 I am not passing judgement on the rightness, wrongness, or otherwisefulness of being a vampire. This is also not an attempt to dox or harm these individuals. They have very little in common with one another; apart from immortality.

Pharrell, musician
Gerard Piqué, professional footballer
Sia, musician
Hozier, musician
Laurence Fishburne, actor
Tom Cruise, actor
Davey Havok, vocalist of the rock band AFI
Baron Carl Gustaf Emil Mannerheim and, possibly, the entire Mannerheim Family
Conrad Black, former newspaper publisher and fascist
Frank Herbert, author of Dune
Mahbod Moghadam, founder of Rap Genius
Willem Dafoe, The Green Goblin
J.Lo, musician
Tom Lehrer, mathematician & musical comedian
Admiral Sir Benjamin John Key, Royal Navy officer
John and Jacqueline Mars, candy magnates
Timothée Chalamet, teenage heartthrob
Oprah, owner/operator of the OWN Network
Crystal Gayle, musician
Sylvia Plath, author
Keanu Reeves, actor
Donovan, mellow yellow
Baz Luhrmann, director of films about dying teenagers
Marc Jacobs, fashion
Billie Eilish, musician
Alicia Keys, musician
Chip and Joanna Gaines, HGTV
Hayao Miyazaki, Studio Ghibli
Rasputin, goes without saying
JonBenet Ramsey, dead girl
Adrian Zumbo, chef
SN Goenka, Guru
Bianca Lawson, Actress
Nat King Cole, Christmas Musician

⛺ This list is, obviously, very incomplete. For a full list, become a vampire and ask them.

About

Portfolio

Most of what I'm proud of lately is for RVA and the people making noise in it.

Winter 2025. rva.lol

Every show in Richmond, in one place.

Scrapes about 45 venue sites on daily cron jobs, one per venue.
Each scraper adapts to its ticketing platform (Opendate, Eventbrite, Squarespace, plain HTML) and normalizes everything into a Supabase database with safety checks against bad scrapes.
A daily Instagram bot pulls upcoming events, generates carousel slides for the feed, and schedules them through Buffer.
Retro monospace UI with dark, high-contrast, and dyslexia-friendly modes.

Tech: Next.js, Supabase, Vercel Cron, Playwright, Cheerio, Buffer · live

Summer 2026. theauricular.com

I keep the lights on at The Auricular — RVA's hold-the-line music journalism crew.

Custom WordPress theme on PHP 8 / WP 6.7, styled with Tailwind v4 via Vite.
Editorial copy lives in a single options page, so writers can change strings without touching templates.
A small plugin syncs Richmond shows from rva.lol into the site on a cron.

Tech: WordPress, PHP, ACF Pro, Tailwind v4, Vite, WP-CLI · live