Letter to L.M.

A little later, I always know I’ve fucked up. Recently, playing board games, I kept asking for M. to explain a game mechanic instead of asking both of you, collectively. You’ve always been collective board game explainers. We’ve never “gotten along“, so I jump to Player 2. We’re not enemies, we have an understanding of sorts. We shouldn’t share a kitchen and that’s enough said. You intimidate me in a way that feels so targeted against me. It’s like seeing how I could have turned out had I had more friends.

I want to be a little more kind and thoughtful and buy Christmas gifts for family, months ahead of time.

I wish the world would give us a chance because I think we could both use a lucky break.

Love, L.


A Letter to B.B.

Hey B.B.,

In the original office at the bottom of the hill, I lined random junk on the ledge by my desk with Pittsburgh memories. A box of salt and corn nuts from a punk band playing in a basement in Oakland. A small rock, stolen from my boss’ desk at my first shitty job after college. A handwritten card from Danielle’s kid. A toy pegasus, but also a unicorn. No clue where that one came from.

Then we moved into the office at the top of the hill. I really wanted my own space. I’d never had an office and it sounded so nice to get away from everyone; a little quiet for once, I told myself.

I built myself a nest. A dark, lightless nest of an office with no desk-space and decreasing number of knick knacks. First they didn’t fit on my desk, then in my drawers, and then I started passing them out to everyone in the office to get them out of my life.

I had so much space in my nest, but no space for myself. It wasn’t long before I got the MacBook, packed up, and moved away.

I hope you still like your knick-knacks,